Where Bodies Kneel and Heads Bow by Anna McBane

Benedict came to the monastery just to be alone with God, not to achieve anything else. History now shows us that this single purpose of his changed the world. Within the hearts, minds and very fibers of every human being is the deep seeded yearning for something that is meaningful and lasting. The Benedictine lifestyle that emerged from this simple notion is one deserving of great admiration to Christians and all people alike. This monastic life is beautifully and wonderfully old and the monks that are tucked away in Cullman, Alabama are upholding 1500 years of tradition.

The quiet grounds of Saint Bernard’s Abbey are no doubt special to me. The wind that blows through the trees there carries whispers of nostalgia that sweetly overwhelm me as the leaves waltz to the ground. The presence of the Lord can be easily felt as the busyness and suffocating nature of modernity is vanquished. The ascetic life of these Benedictine monks is something that is deeply intriguing. There is something so profound about the lifestyle that was founded 1500 years ago and I was reminded of some thoughts that Jason Baxter, an author and college professor, shared regarding modernity and time. In his lecture he said, 

Our ancestors in their slow eternity-hungry culture had ears alert for what was beyond time, they wanted to overcome time, not smash the accelerator pedal to the ground to forget it. They thought that the eternal world of God was lurking as if it were just outside of time, eager to make itself manifest in time and when it did, it felt too much, it was a thing of height and depth, a thing of overwhelming goodness and beauty, and that is the thing they tried to gesture at in their complicated, elevated, exuberant, difficult art.

In a similar way, I believe that the Benedictine Monks also have a vision to see what goes beyond time. The monks at Saint Bernard Abbey and at any monastery around the world, are bound together by their shared desire for union with God. 

I have visited the monastery and attended Friday Mass and Vespers four times, and each time I visit I am filled with a sense of peace. Over the past couple of years, I have attended several Catholic masses, but something at Saint Bernard Abbey is special. My trip was enriched by the sweet smell of fall, seeing the leaves turn from a vibrant green to a rich amber, the wind whispering and almost beckoning me inside the chapel, the stillness that washed over me, the smell of incense that lingered in every corner of the room, the stone tiles that reverberated the slow clicks or heels and thuds of boots, the wooden pews chilled by the autumn air that enveloped the chapel and snuck it’s way inside, the stained glass windows that made colors dance across the floor, the saints carved into stone lining the walls high above. There was a certain depth that was almost tangible throughout the mass, the reverence that was present during the liturgy, readings and homily was something that I deeply admired. The ritualistic and solemn tone that encompassed the preparing and receiving of the eucharist was deeply moving. Our very pews seemed to be blanketed with devotion as I recognized that countless hands have gripped them while bodies kneel and heads bow. 

These are some of the many reasons why I am blessed to spend time at the abbey. I think time is slower there and the chaotic noise of modernity is muted. In years past when I have gone with a group from my school we have gotten to hear some of the monk’s personal stories. Their lives are a witness to a life of faith that pushes one past the bounds of time and this earth. One of the monks brought to light the notion that if you want to know who you are, seek Christ. Furthermore, he expressed how happiness comes when you are willing to give yourself away for someone or something that is worthy of that gift. He explained that this is what makes us as humans free and we are all called to experience that and that’s what happens in the monastery.  I believe that the most impactful part of my visit to Saint Bernard Abbey this fall was the reminder to seek after what is true and to follow the passions in my heart that ultimately lead to God. However, it has proven to be difficult to run after those passions while running on a trail that is trapped in the modern world of busyness. I pray that I will keep chasing after those passions, that I will continue to pursue real and intimate friendships with others and to linger and sit in awe of the divine revelations and moments of beauty that seem so rare, but in reality are flashing past our eyes in the slow, intimate and ordinary moments of our life. For the beauty is rushing all around us. It is the joy that echoes across a park on a sunny spring day, it is the tears caught by another's hand, the smile that forms in a simple grazing of the shoulder, it is the stillness and depth that rests in the foundation of every part of our earth. There is something in our world that is both peaceful yet powerful, loving yet just, and unwavering yet merciful, and that force that drives all of nature is Love that goes by the name, God, Adonai, Father. I will forever be thankful for getting a glimpse into monastic life because it reminds me to slow down, grounds me in what is true, and fuels my faith forward with confidence.