Order A Mother Held: Essays on Anxiety and Motherhood

Is God sovereign over every minute that ticks by—even the horrors we cry out to him about?

This question haunts each of us, especially us mothers who not only consider our lives but also those of our children. Can we trust God to care for us and our helpless babies just as much as we do, especially when he allows the turmoil of this world? When Lara became a mother, she thought she was losing her mind—literally. As she faced paranoia, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, and obsessive compulsions, she viewed her life as the chaotic mess of a person pushed away by God and held under his stern gaze. She believed in God, but feared that he viewed her a burdensome child with too many problems. As she sought to care for her infants through various valleys of suffering, she struggled to trust God’s mighty hand that turned the tides of her life. In this collection of essays, Lara leads her reader through her battle with anxiety and the early days of motherhood—not to show the world her own perseverance or to draw their pity, but to cast their gaze to the One who carried her through it all.

Lara d’Entremont is first a wife to Daniel and a mom to three little wildlings. She is a staff writer for Gospel-Centered Discipleship and a regular contributor to Well-Watered Women. Her writing can be found in Christianity Today, Mere Orthodoxy, Risen Motherhood, The Rabbit Room, and more.